Stronger Than Blood.

Wow. I really want to be over it. Just completely over it. I want to move on and care about somebody new. I am just taking it day by day I guess. I'm tired of being jerked around. Why do I let it happen to me? Why would I let someone jerk me around when I know it's exactly what he's doing? Maybe I just don't think I could do better. It's sad, but it's true. One day I don't give a shit and the next something gets me thinking and it starts all over. I want to be normal and I want to be able to hate him for everything. I guess my emotions got twisted enough that it's hard to let go. It's not really obsession or insanity. It's just..I put up with a lot of lies and shit because of how I felt about the person he was pretending to be in the beginning.

When the dark flood came, we wrapped ourselves inside a dirty blanket citing different opinions on whether we should move. ehen the houses came, they ate up everyone like they were fishes saying, "Come on, come on it's the end of the world." And then I saw your face, you're turning skin into a dirty secret. I watched the beauties, watched the fire and the fire burn the beauty in their eyes. When I took the blame, we layed in ruins trying to quote your phrase, we're yelling, "someone's got the answers, but I'd rather think there's nothing to be found!" If you knew I was dying would it change you? So when you see me falling backwards down the wall that says I'm still alive, don't be cautious when I'm cautiously approaching on the other side. Everybody has their reasons, that's the reason we're all going to die. Because if seeing is believing, then believe that we have lost our eyes. When I fly solo, I fly so high - don't touch me now. We all deserve something.

I hate feeling like i'd still do anything to be with someone...who doesn't deserve it, or want it.